Feelings of my pregnancy with Emily

First Trimester

When I found I was pregnant with Emily, We were shocked and couldn't believe it. It took a long time for us to actually be happy about being pregnant yet again. I felt that I was not capable about being the mother of 3 children under the age of 4. Also only being 22. We kept it a secret for as long as possible. So on the 30th December when my Mum had the seizure my whole families life had been changed forever. I was 14 weeks pregnant when I found out my Mum had a brain tumor I did not know how to cope nor did I know what to do. As time went on as I went along in my pregnancy I did not look forward to having this baby as I felt that time was escaping and that I didn't want time to escape because I loved my mum and it would mean less time with her.

The Scan

My darling husband could see my grief and problem and came up with an idea to make my pregnancy more exciting. We decided that it was best to find out the sex and not tell anyone. My husband wanted to test me as, He knows I can't keep a secret from anyone especially my sisters. We decided the rules were that we would pretend that the guy doing the scan couldn't see the sex and that is the story we stuck to until Emily was born. We did not tell our doctor or our midwifes. We felt if we told one person we would want to tell more.

The Middle part of my pregnancy went really well. There were no really big hiccups. I started going to counselling to help me deal with the pre-mourning and there were no major problems. Besides from having ligament issues and Emily not moving as much as she should of at one point.

The final weeks

The Final weeks were the toughest part of the pregnancy. I had an increase in Braxton hicks and felt that she was not moving as much as she should be. I was just been told to rest and keep my feet up. When I hit 37 weeks was the hardest I have ever had it, One night after spending the day with my mother and the night out with friends I started having intense contractions where they were 8 minutes apart. I decided to ring the hospital and Kurt and I raced in there thinking oh crap what is this little baby doing. After 8 hours of being on machines it was decided that I was going to have this baby at 37 weeks. We were told by 6pm I will be going into surgery and that it should be out. Well 7pm rocked around and I was told that the doctor said if the pain is intense I can have something for it. Thinking they were going to give me some panadol. WELL I was wrong. The stupid midwife gave me pethadine. an hour later everything had stopped and the doctor said well if its all stopped they are not taking the baby out tonight but they wanted to monitor me just in case it all started again. So I spent a night in hospital. I have never ever cried so much in my life, You would of thought I had lost the baby with how much I cried. But she stayed in there for another 10 days and she finally came out on the 27th June.